Purple Calm

More text. Love. Power.

Purple — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:31:54 +0000

Well, it’s kind of working. We’re at stalemate. Two weekends of the toy-boy out playing with his friends. Followed by two Mondays of the toy-boy asking me out. Actually, make that three Mondays as this campaign started on a Monday. So, the difference is that by 4pm this Sunday the toy-boy was texting. Back to ‘Text.Love.Power’ – don’t reply on a weekend. So I didn’t. Which clearly peed him off as he was being kept hanging – not sure where I was, or if it was worth him coming round. Such power! Then a text asking me out again on the following Monday.

Wonder if this will ever get to that elusive Saturday night date? Will he ever learn? More power to the text!

Text Appeal

Purple — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 21:21:42 +0000

Happy anniversary! To mark 24 months since officially meeting the toy boy I decided to relent and send an sms. Cold turkey of ‘Text. Love. Power.’ had been too much for him: ‘TextAppeal – for Girls’ offered the more gentle approach. Who’d have thought: so many Amazon suggestions to guide me through this text affair. So, me, sms: Have noticed the date. Silence. Could almost hear the brain ticking. 3 hours later – him: an email – I am out of the country but happy birthday.

Only 4 months out on celebrating my birthday then. And the deep irony is my birthday is 3 days after his! Not too tricky to remember for a normal person. Still I got a nice present – purchased by me for me.

And where was he? Out playing with his friends of course. But clearly rattled as after the fateful weekend – him, sms: I have champagne. Me: it’s not birthday. Silence. Him: when we met. Me: silence. Him: Champagne? Me: too late now. Him: another time? Me: silence.

And so it goes on. But he is learning… he has finally managed to ask me out within 2 SMS So I threw down the gauntlet. Me: weekdays are really busy right now. From him – silence.

Text.Power.Love?

Purple — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 19:24:52 +0000

Well no SMSing = power. Certainly. But being ‘so busy’ usually means stressed at work and toy boy usually steers well clear during such craziness as it freaks him. Oops. So the question is, how to give the impression of being busy – with a hectic, exciting, social life – whilst not sending any texts? And not coming across as a stress cadet to be avoided at all costs? Tricky! Time will tell..

So far so sms

Purple — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 21:12:26 +0000

So, following the rules – deafening silence all day. Until 8:55pm, asking about my well-being. Gotcha! Which is nice but my sms are only concerned with plans and no sms will be answered after 9pm. 3 sms is the cut off point, chat-wise: if no plans have been mentioned within 3 sms then no more sms will be sent in that conversation. This is easy and actually makes sense! Tough love here – no time in 5 mins to send 3 sms so no sms tonight for me!

Epiphany!

Purple — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:13:52 +0000

I have seen the light. It’s here:

Text. Love. Power. The Ultimate Girls Relationship Guide for Texting and Dating in the New Millennium [Kindle Edition]

For those of us who loved ‘The Rules’ (although shouldn’t we be married by now?) this is part 2. And for my SMS relationship is perfect. The answer: SMS to make plans and confirm plans. If you want to chat, chat to me in person.

So.. into action. Two blah-blah texts from toy-boy which I ignored led to a text asking for a drink. Perfect! Except the drink was right-at-the minute- as-he-had-left-work (probably early, banking on seeing me) and frankly I was busy – Rules again – so said so. This was met with a deathly silence and I almost felt sorry for him. Until I remembered all those times when he was too tired to go out, too busy playing with his friends etc. Not to mention the birthday.

So, rationing SMSing might do him the power of good… and if it doesn’t? Then at least I’ll know the answer.

Take 2: the shred day 1

Purple — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 11:43:59 +0000

I found the DVD, dusted off the cover, negotiated the odd DVD system and got there eventually. I confess, no weights and no water bottles meant using some not-so-heavy small bottles of carpet and oven cleaner but the intention was good! This was prompted but getting out the scales. Using them on carpet was OK… re-weighing my bod with the scales on the tiles and I saw the ugly truth. Oh the shame!

The old is fighting back

Purple — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 23:04:13 +0000

In the interests of research, especially after reading today is the worst day for infidelity as people are experiencing ‘cabin fever’ after the Christmas break, I decided to explore a few cyber dating options. Particularly ironic on the illicitencounters.com was the guy looking for an affair who describes himself as having ‘honest eyes’. Don’t think he was meant to join that site.

Switching to another, there was suddenly a blast from the past: the man who started it all, my first internet date – the man with the rose on our first date. Yes – corny, but …. We split as he didn’t want to get too involved as he was moving on… so shocked was I to see when his picture was last modified. He certainly hung around for quite a long time. My only consolation is that when I last saw him he was smugly in a relationship. Oops – guess it didn’t work out as he must have cyber dated after that and I did manage quite a long ‘thing’ with someone at that time. But rumour has it he is now a smug married, so he must have settled very fast. Or maybe he is about to put in an appearance on illicitencounters.com Whatever, he is out of the pond so has no right to freak me by suddenly appearing on a dating site. And dating sites need to clear things out a bit – and show the real number of fish available. Meanwhile, past be gone!

And for the present? After to toy-boy letting me down again, I am AWOL. All SMS are banned while I consider my options. I hope that blast wasn’t some kind of sign…?

Out with the old…

Purple — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 16:57:39 +0000

New year, new clear out, feng shui-style. Three large bags of stuff are heading out of the door.

Meanwhile, I feel the Shred coming on again. There will be pain and suffering and who knows if I can make it pass day 5 but intentions are good. Maybe a little salsa too.

And out with toxic relationships. Yasmin Boland has it right again:

Your well-being this year depends a lot on… You doing all you can to enjoy healthy relationships. Every time you get involved in an argument with someone and take away nothing but toxic feelings, you are losing the battle! Every time you have a dispute and you learn a lesson whether it’s about whom to trust or how to handle yourself or someone else you are getting the best that 2012 has to offer. The great news for you is that as of June, positive Jupiter, moves into your Mind Zone for a 12 month stay. Thinking positively can change your life for the better. It’s the Law of Attraction.

OK, so after June everything should be fine then!

you get what you settle for

Purple — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 10:33:27 +0000

And so, my stars for 2012:

Love and relationships in 2012: Don’t expect your love life to be any different in 2012 than it was in 2011 … unless you’ve learned your 2011 lessons. If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got. Get it? If you want 2012 to be better, use the lessons life has taught you about relationships over the past two years. (www.yasminboland.com)

How wonderfully apt! My casual affair is about to turn two. Two years old! What happened?! For a while after a summer apart, he was fabulous. Now? Communication is limited and, on New Year’s eve eve, I have no plans for midnight tomorrow, as once again we are apart, although I did offer to make some travel arrangements. This was met with silence. I think that’s because a)he can’t travel as he has to work (again) and b) thinks I will ask him to do. Which isn’t what I meant: I was prepared to make the grand gesture but silence has left me in limbo, again.

Time for change.

The cheek of the man!!

Purple — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 02:18:41 +0000

Italians – smooth-talkers, romantic, good to their mommies, fabulous cooks. So they say. I can now add full of brazen cheek. My Italian date, who finally admitted he was married and was just looking for a fling, almost 2 years after our initial meeting, eventually sent me an email, inviting me to read his new book. When I didn’t immediately reply, he re-phrased the invite, asking me to read and correct the ENGLISH version of his book. The cheek of the man! Lie, cheat and then expect my help as a native English speaker! He seemed a little surprised when I declined his generous offer, difficult obviously as it was for me to do so. Worse still, I now seem to be part of his address book and am receiving you tube links for Real Madrid videos. Why an Italian would support Spanish football, I have no idea, but I digress. Italian man, in all these years of dating you take the award for sheer arrogance!

Italian in action